I can’t sleep. Per the usual. Restlessness ringing through my ears. Had an amazing weekend. After coming off of an almost crushing week of grad school application and article deadlines. I just have two more pieces due this week! Woohoo!
I wonder if there’s anything on my mind worth sharing or if I’m merely indulging in uncomfortable squirmishness via public platform. Maybe a little of both? Meh, who knows. I’ve been working so hard on my book and film stuff that I’ve sort of taken a breather from my spiritual & psychological homework, and been coasting on the healing breakthroughs of other weeks and months. This can only keep me sane for so long though before The Ache for deepening explodes tingling chimes into my arteries and rushes them down center chest into the entrails of my stomach lining. Thus producing cravings similar to the ones I get to eat and/or be fed at 5:20 in the morning. Or the craving everyone gets to chug a cold 40 oz bottle of Mickey’s Malt after a long hard 14 days of back to back deadlines …
I think I’ll spend much of this week tending to the call for more … not with booze, food, women, or artwork / careerwork, however, but with the spiritual & psychological work I’ve been avoiding … To heed the ringing restlessness by listening to its needs, which call for me to tend to the deepening of my experience by evolving its point of reference: my perspective.
Unfortunately, outward blessings do little to tame inner The Nothing, which, as of now lies dormant, but once awakened wreaks reckless havoc on my spirit, mind, body … and consequential life.
Only spiritual & psychological maintenance / rigorously honest and thorough work on the dimensional levels of my inward experience will afford me the perspective I need to remain centered, humble, serene, and grateful for my outward experiences. Alright, I’ve rambled on enough. Time to get into action.
But before I peace out, here are some passages I came across last week that effectively lulled The Nothing into REM for a brief set of savory hours.
They passed a warm palm down its chest, and quelled its ominous hunger pains …
Excerpt from a poem by Stacy Gnail:
To have demanded each seam celestial, appealed for planetary pleats. And when you saw the sun a sequin, the moon a button shaped from glass, and in the stars a pattern for a dress … to have stood then at the edge of the wood, heard a hound’s bark and my heart hark in return.
Excerpt from a poem by Troy Urquhart:
Simply, or not.
as a word or a phrase
or a glance.
Or a sentence.
Frost would say
“it begins with a lump
in the throat.”
Excerpt from a poem by Rosa Alcala:
The body’s hidden face
The question, as we sit
by the grill, becomes:
What is the real animal
A poem by Suheir Hammad:
to love he said
was that of a farmer
most love like
hunters and like
hunters most kill
what they desire
soil through toes
nose in the wet
earth he waits
prays to the gods
and slowly harvests
Excerpt from a poem by Emily Dickinson:
Let us discourse – with care –
Powder exists in Charcoal –
Before it exists in Fire –
And finally, by my friend Dare Williams:
Love is a stranger in an open car…
– Img from my fave blog RileyDog