Alright, I realize blogging on a daily basis about making a movie is not as exciting or fun as just ranting.
I’ll tell you why — Making a movie requires completion of a lot of technicalities, which take time to execute. Such as creating main website for film, updating synopses, researching desired producers and production companies, etc. Although that may be a Noah’s Ark Boat load of fun for me, it’s not that fun to write about and I imagine read SO until the process gets JUICY, I won’t bore you or myself with A) The emotional highs and lows of such a process and B) The practical highs and lows of such a process.
Blogging about cooking Julia Child meals on a nightly basis as Julie did in Julie & Julia is much more enjoyable for writer and reader than blogging about surfing IMDBpro and starting a tumblr account.
So, although I continue working on my first feature Dear Dios over the next year, I’ll only blog about the scandalous, enticing, and J-U-I-C-Y details.
MAN, doing this group therapy-mandated whole life inventory and consequential, resentment breakdown has me crazier than Danny DeVito as The Penguin in Batman Returns.
Wrapped up in the world of ME proves more than a tad unhinging and by that I mean absolutely maddening. Sifting through the suckage and okayness of my life over a 26-year period has flared up ALL of my character defects/defenses: narcissism, control-freakishness, perfectionism, workaholism, self-flogging (which I almost called “self-flatulence”), and gorging on Entemann’s chocolate cake and countless bowls of “Honey Bunches of Oats.”
Spiritual & Psychological growth is one painful ugly sonumabitch. A procedure I must undergo if I don’t want to rot inside until I my dying day 🙂
Yes, next Tuesday I read the inventory to my group therapy mentor. Hopefully then, just maybe, I’ll be able to pull back from the transfixing pond that reflects back to me my visage a.k.a. NOT DROWN in mah’ B.S.
While attempting to finish this inventory for the past 2 weeks, I haven’t really spoken with or spent quality time with … well, hardly anyone …
It’s a self-imposed solitary confinement driven by the belief that when I FINALLY finish the task at hand I will deserve to reward myself — with connecting to other human beings in the world.
Gawd, I take myself SO seriously! Gah! It makes me want to eat ENTEMANNS!!
Last night, however, I experienced a nice deliverance from the well of echoing imperfection that is mah’ self-reflection when I hung out with two buds, Mama Geee & Sass, at House of Pies.
At one point during our discourse about cheating spouses and famous celebrity cheaters, Mama Geee commented, “”EW, Lance Armstrong cheated? But he’s ugly & has no balls!” It connected me to my spiritual center and made my night. Thanks Mama Geee!!!
Much has happened in the world today, per the usual. Great things, miraculous things, awful things, terrifying things, spontaneous things, unforeseen things …
It’s great to know that when I want to stop my ego from swallowing me whole — during this intense period of personal healing — I can always look outside to the world’s ongoings and take peace from the fact that there is much yet to experience, much yet to learn, and much yet to re-watch like Batman Returns.